Don't Get Wally Drunk
by PrincessNightstar24
Summary: It's Dick's twenty fifth birthday and he and his closest friends all celebrate! Of course a certain red headed speedster gets a little carried away after being dared he can't hold his liquor. Now he knows why.


**A/N: HEY GUYS! I'm so sorry for not posting but the Hitatus is strong with this one and finals are just AGH! I need me some juice ;-;**

 **Anyways, this story is just a little test drive to unclog my filthy desires and get me up and going to finish my stories! I will be able to update very soon since summer is coming! Yay!**

 ***me drinking some juice* I wish I had more I cry**

 **Disclaimer: NO DAMMIT I DON'T OWN TEEN TITANS OR MEH WALLY**

 **. . .**

 _Best friends - They know how stupid you are, but choose to be seen with you in public._

. . .

It was supposed to be a small party. Nothing gigantic and overly exuberant, but merely a small get together of a few leaguers.

See, the plan or party really was Dick's twenty fifth birthday extravaganza. Wally and Kori had planned it all perfectly. They invited Donna, Roy, Kal, Cyborg, Raven, Gar Bruce, Tim, Damian, Conner, M'gann and Artemis to Dick and Kori's large condo.

Kori was buzzing about, floating everywhere as she and M'gann prepared cookies in the kitchen area. Being that the two aliens both shared a passion for cooking, they had the most chemistry in the kitchen.

"Kori can you hand me the oven mitts?" Donna asked as she stood beside the ringing oven. Kori nodded and flew quickly to a drawer beside the sink and tossed over a red mitten.

Quickly, Donna caught the mitten and placed it over her hand and grasped the handle getting out a large mouth watering vannila bean cake.

"Oh my god that smells like Jesus!"

"Wally shut up." Donna laughed, taking the cake and setting it on the counter.

Kori squealed and landed in front of the sweet treat. Just then, Damian entered.

"Ah, Pennyworth's sweet concoction. I assume he is buying the chocolate frosting?" Damian asked. Kori nodded.

"Yes! I am most enthusiastic about the entire ordeal as well! I assume your farther is continuing his distraction of him, yes?" Kori asked cocking her head to the side slitghtly. Damian nodded.

"Father and Drake are both out giving Grayson his birthday lunch at Wayne Enterprises. We will get the memo of their arrival when they text me." Damian smirked and took out his phone.

"Glorious!" Kori cheered and hugged the miniature assassin. He frowned, but hugged her nonetheless seeing as she was the closest thing he could call a mother at this point being with Talia gone.

"Yo who's going to get the booze?!" Cyborg yelled where he stood hanging up a dark blue banner.

"Dibs! So dibs! Me!" Wally demanded. Instantly the red head zipped down the stairs where he and Artemis were tossing streamers and came to a holt.

He got down on his knees and looked up at Donna with puppy dog eyes. "Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase?"

She snorted. "No. You can't hold your liquor at all Wally. Plus you'd go overboard with the whole thing as well."

"Would not!" With that declared, he jumped up and crossed his arms."I'm a big boy."

Raven surprisingly let out a laugh which made him twirl around with a snap. "Am so!"

"I never denied you were." Raven cooly responded. Then she brushed a strand of her now long violet hair behind her ear. "But then again I never agreed."

"Ha ha aren't you the comedic relief." He drawled out with sarcasm dripping off every syllable.

"Nah. That's me. Right babe?" Gar asked, poking her shoulder. Raven didn't respond which made cyborg fall off the ladder laughing too hard.

All in all everyone had their own growth and job. Damian Wayne being the new Robin and standing at about eleven years old, but pure sass; he was the one giving updates on Dick's whereabouts. Donna now being 26 was the new Wonder Woman and looked exactly like her sister. Kori now 24 was Dick's wife and her being Mrs. Grayson was no surprise her being outgrown of her awkward teenage years and gaining curves and a beautiful image inside and out. Raven now 23 was married to Gar. The two of them had grown plentiful. Raven getting taller and grasping more control of her powers along with a beautiful figure and Gar becoming a lean muscular almost mature man. Everyone really all growing better.

Now Damian reported that Bruce and Tim would return soon with Dick and this sent everyone into hyper drive. Reluctant Donna allowed Wally to get Alcohol and last minute smacks, Raven and Gar set up a few tables, Donna, Kori, and M'gann decorated the cake with a returning Alfred, and the rest put up the last of the decorations.

Time past by much quicker then they had hoped, but the Nightwing themed cake was placed on the blue table cloth and Wally returned just in time. Everything was perfect, even the fact that Wally had purchased tons of tequila, Vodka, beers, scotch, jäger, and bourban.

Wait, that wasn't perfect. That was just stupid.

"Wally!" Artemis hissed as a he placed the shot glasses down with super speed.

"What? You don't think the wall-man can handle his liquor?"

The blonde huffed, "I don't think. I know."

Wally frowned and walked over kissing her cheek. "Oh relax babe I've totally got this."

"Shut it west he's coming up the drive way right now!" Damian growled.

Raven turned the lights off from her hiding spot and quickly everyone became one with the dark. Just then the doorknob began to return and utterly gorgeous Dick Grayson walked inside followed by Bruce and Tim.

"Why is it so dark in here?" Dick asked as he turned on the light.

"SURPRISE!"

Dick dropped his keys and saw all of his closest friends come out and greet him. He smiled, seeing Kori float over and kissed her deeply.

She smiled again his lips and snuggled into him grinning pulling away. "Are you happy?"

"Happy?" He asked. He looked about the room seeing everyone grinning at him. Then he locked his eyes on the most gorgeous woman he had ever met and smirked. "Definitely."

"Dickie-boy!" Wally cheered, moving Kori and hugging him. He laughed and everyone snickered at the two.

Wally kissed his cheek and cocked on one hip looking at Dick. "So honey how was your day?"

"Shut the fuck up." Dick laughed and shoved him away. Wally laughed loudly and jumped up pointing to the back part of the kitchen where the liquor awaited.

Dick glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow. "No way you can drink all that."

Oh shit.

"You challenge me?! Dude I will fuck this up!" Wally yelled.

Dick smirked shaking his head. "Doubt."

Wally set his jaw and grabbed a shot and took it. Then with his other hand he grabbed another one and took it and stared at Dick. "You do realize you're talking to the next Flash? I have fast metabolism dude."

Dick laughed. "So? I've seen you drunk before."

"Well get ready to be proven wrong!" Wally snorted, taking another shot and starting a whole other level of stupid.

. . .

The drunk phase. You don't know what's happening, but whatever you're doing you damn well feel like it's being done amazingly.

That's what you think.

Wally being who he was brought a whole level of drunk. It had been two hours and Wally was getting that buzz.

Like right now.

"WALLY PUT THE PINEAPPLE DOWN!"

"NO!" He screamed as he held onto the fruit tightly. Donna hissed at him.

"Put the fucking thing down!"

"NO-" Quickly he ripped apart the pineapple and seethed when he saw it only contained juice. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE SPONGEBOB!"

Gar being a bad guy at the moment began to whisper. "Aye aye captain."

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Wally lept across the counter where he stood and grabbed the yellow sponge beside the sink and began to choke it.

"TELL ME WHAT THE SECRET FORMULA IS!" Wally demanded. With the sponge not replying, he ripped it apart and slipped on some soap from the sink and flopped down on the ground. Conner and cyborg died of laughter and Gar couldn't breathe.

With a bound, Wally stood up seeming much calmer now, but almost paranoid. Kal feeling sorry for him helped him walk to the living room where he saw the small aquarium beside the table and halted.

"Kal we have to let him free." Wally whispered.

"What?"

Wally grabbed a fish net and quickly scooped up a clown fish and sprinted towards the bathroom with a mortified Kal chasing behind.

"WALLY DON'T!"

"You're free now Nemo." Wally muttered letting the clown fish be flushed down the toilet.

Kal busted down the door and soon Wally zipped out again with a chase being followed right afterwards grabbing a rainbow flag and screaming as he ran.

"My little pony! My little pony! Ahhhhhhh MY LITTLE FUCKING PONY! I USE TO WONDER WHAT FRIENDSHIP COULD BE!" Zipping around the room in a blur of rainbow color, Donna groaned.

"Wally what the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm not Wally! I'm rainbow dash bitch!"

At this point the entire group of boys lost it and died of laughter.

. . .

With a groan, Wally woke up and realized two things. One, he was wearing a dress. And two, he was outside.

"You're up." Dick snickered, taking a sip of some coffee.

"Ugh, what happened?" The red head groaned again and looked at his friend. Dick smirked.

"Well I had birthday sex and you basically had a drunk comedian act for everyone besides Donna and Artemis."

"Dude what?!" Wally yelped and sat up, quickly clasping his throbbing head and wincing.

"Yep." Dick sipped his coffee and swallowed. "You can text Cy. I'm sure he recorded it all."

Wally nodded, and found he had a crack on his phone and looked over at a snickering Richard.

"Dude why is my phone cracked?"

"Last night when you were drinking you threw your phone."

Wally squinted his eyes. "Why the hell would I do that?"

"You set it on airplane mode and threw it then kept yelling transform damn you."

Wally face palmed. Okay maybe he couldn't handle his liquor after all.

 **. . .**

 **Hehehe I hope you all enjoyed! I'm trying to get back in the groove and get my mojo back. Y'know it's been awhile and all.**

 **Thank you all for reading and I'll update my other stories too! I'm just waiting for a few reviews since I feel it's just there now and not really anyone's interested anymore.**

 **Follow, favorite, review or all 3!**

 **Hope you enjoyed and remember to keep being awesome! ~PrincessNightstar24**

 **Peace :3**

 **Bob**


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